The Simplest Way To Overcome Anxiety and Fear

Everyone struggles with anxiety and fear.

Personally, I have social anxiety and a fear of rejection. It means that saying I’m reluctant to call on people is an understatement. Asking for help? Not if I can help it (pun intended).

It changed for me when I realized that fear usually is F.E.A.R.: False Evidence Appearing Real.

As soon as that clicked, I started to understand that overcoming anxiety and fear isn’t rocket science and I was actually making it worse by avoiding what triggers them.

Here’s what I should have done instead:

• Acknowledge the anxiety and fear and breathe through it. Box breathing for example — if it works for SEALS, it definitely can work for you.
• Do it anyway.
• Note what really happens. Objectively, i.e. observations, not interpretations. And record it somewhere.

That last step is the most important. Because up till now your fear only let you remember the times when your fear was realized. That’s not your fault. It’s how your brain works.

And, sure, sometimes your fears come true. But I’m willing to bet that in the majority of cases, you’ll be adding positive experiences to a growing mountain of true evidence to support you when the going gets tough. Just like Jia Jiang who dared himself to make audacious requests and face rejection every single day for a hundred days.