Why “Trust Must Be Earned” Is So Corrosive To Trust

Many people subscribe to the belief that trust must be earned.

It’s so wrong and so counterproductive.

I’m not saying that you should simply belief everyone and you can’t assess people’s hard and soft skills. I am saying that you don’t want to put people through a wringer to gauge their trustworthiness.

For one, it sends a loud and clear signal of distrust which isn’t lost one the person subjected to it.

For two, they’ll understand what’s going on and they’ll take whatever you dole out as the price for “getting in” — assuming that’s worth anything to them.

For three, you’re not doing anything to earn their trust.

In fact, you’re doing your utmost to destroy whatever trust they had (their default trust setting). Anyone made to earn your trust won’t trust you (as much) for a long time to come.

Because distrust breeds distrust and trust breeds trust.

I still remember vividly how I was handed the key and the alarm code to the office on the first day of my employment with a company. Their display of trust in me, made me feel enormously good about the company I joined. And increased my likeliness to act in the interest of that company by several orders of magnitude.